📚 Find Your Writing Voice without a Single Keystroke (Greatest Hit)

Hey 👋 - Dave here.

Happy Saturday morning.

I’m finishing up a couple big projects so I’m sharing a prior personal piece.

Read time: 3 minutes

Keep creating!

Would you rather be famous for:

1/ WHAT you write about
    or
2/ HOW your voice sings on the page

Both can be yours.

Because cadence can elevate your writing beyond countless wordsmiths fighting for attention - and the good news is you don’t have to travel far to find your voice...

Dysfunctionally Dating Perfection

In college, I spent a weekend visiting my long-distance girlfriend and her family in Maryland.

Her family and I clicked as we broke bread, attended a baseball game, and celebrated her graduation from Johns Hopkins University.

The problem was that my girlfriend and I didn’t like each other anymore, so we broke up on the way to drop me off at the airport.

She claimed some of my parting words were, “I really like your family, but you make me sick.”

I don’t remember spitting that venom.

And I wish I never voiced those twisted thoughts because that ex-girlfriend did nothing wrong.

All she did was tell me how to save our relationship. Over and over, she mentioned how I wasn’t acting like the same person she fell for.

You see, I thought she needed me to be the ideal mate, so I transformed into a fictitious character whenever we hung out.

So I let her pick the flicks, foods, and fights.

I aimed to say and do all the right things.

I tried to play the role of the perfect hero because I was afraid I’d lose her if I was anybody else, especially myself.

But I still lost her.

Guy Seeking Single Page of Perfection

For years, I made this same mistake with my writing.

I’d sit down to write, spin a few sentences onto the page, only to immediately erase them.

For anything that didn’t get deleted, I’d still end up disappointed because my words read nothing like other famous writers.

I also trunked anything personal because I didn’t want people to see my broken parts.

Instead, I opted to write in the voice I thought readers wanted to hear.

I strived to craft POV’s that made me look good. (You and I are creative kin if that sounds like you.)

Because the pursuit of perfection compels you to withhold your true writing voice.

It prevents you from letting down your guard and sharing your unique take on this world because the moment your writing displays your irregularities, perfection roars that you can’t or shouldn’t share your true nature.

The pursuit of perfection doesn’t want audiences to see the real you because if you shared your flaws, people may reject you.

Rejection can be terrifying every time you hit publish.

However, you must recognize that rejection is inevitable.

This impending reality’s what held back my true writing voice for years.

For far too long, I spoke to the page the same way Young and Dumb Dave acted around every girl he dated before the age of 24.

The Rise of Imperfection

My ex-girlfriend moved back to San Diego a couple months after our breakup. (We shared the same circle of friends so we started seeing each other at social herdings.)

By that point I found peace of mind in our separation and I stopped thinking twice about my abnormalities.

Less than a year later, that ex-girlfriend became my wife.

She signed a marriage contract with this imperfect person.

20 years of wedlock later, she continues to challenge me to be a better husband, father, and man.

I trust her more than anyone else in this strange world.

I’ve found there’s a lot of freedom in permitting yourself to be imperfect.

Of course, I can’t guarantee you’ll get back together with an ex or write the perfect words, but I'm confident you’ll get better at letting your legit voice shine.

I also think you’ll find more satisfaction in your writing - because you’ll attract more people genuinely interested in who you are and what you have to say.

I finally connected with my writing voice when I started accepting and sharing my faults.

My voice and I are nowhere near perfect, but we are perfect for each other.

That may read strange so let me rephrase it, not to reach perfection, but to be super clear:

You must accept your flawed writing before you can release your true voice.

A Real Reunion

I'd rather be the writer I am than the writer I think readers need me to be.

If we're on the same page, try these exercises to hone your voice the next time you write:

1. Speak through your keyboard like you’re talking to one person.

• Picture just one human (friend, family, colleague, or fan) and let your thoughts roll off your fingertips.
• A single soul approach may focus your creative spirit.

2. Expose yourself.

• Opening up to people guarantees you’re showcasing your true self.
• Stories about malfunctioning pants and birthday breakups with girlfriends helped me better connect with my audience.

3. Get selfish.

• Did you ever keep a journal or diary? Weren’t you more open to documenting how you really felt when you knew nobody was looking?
• Do that again because it may help you get back to writing in the way you were always meant to express yourself. Then if you’re feeling brave about the thoughts you released, publish those words somewhere, anywhere.

Writing Happily Ever After

You have your current friends because they enjoy who you are and how you communicate, so don’t try and be someone else between the lines.

Straight up, you don’t need to find your writing voice or spend years honing it. You just need to start releasing the imperfect one you already possess.

That imperfect writing voice will change over time, but that's true for everything in life.

My mouthpiece today is nothing like the high-pitches I cracked 30 years ago and that's a good thing.

Now go bark like the beast you’re meant to be.

That’s it for this Saturday.

See ya next week!

— Dave